The Punishment of Being a Nurse

I sit here contemplating how much more I can take and give of myself. Years being a nurse I used to be happy, vigilant and ready to face it all. This pandemic has not only made me depressed and anxious but cold. Cold to the patients, as I get hit, punched and screamed at. Cold to my own compassion. Am I punishing myself staying in a field that has no more gratitude? From denied time off, no vacation, reusing N95’s. Short. staffed. Healthcare Hero’s my ass. Underpaid and continued to be abused. Yet. Here we are still showing up. The punishment of a nurse