Tired of being 'strong'
Fri May 07 2021
I am a Registered Massage Therapist and owner of the clinic. The past 14 months have been challenging, tumultous, physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. I became an RMT to look after people; primarliy of their physical well being but it also involves listening to clients. Since returning to work in June 2020, the main topic of conversation is the pandemic. This was expected as it is the focus of all our lives. What I did not expect was having to be so strong. As a professional: I have to be competent, unbiased, in charge and strong. I am so very tired of being strong. There are so many times that I want to tell my clients the truth.
I am not not OK!!! I am worried about the future of my business; subsequently I am worried about my personal future. On any given day, I do not know who may cancel their appointment or suspend treatment entirely. I do not know if I am exposed to an assymptomatic carrier. I do not know if/when the government will shut down businesses.
I know that I am fortunate to have a viable business, a home, food on my table and money in the bank. So I am not in a position to complain about how hard things are.
At this point, I even have trouble expressing to my friends and sister how I am doing or feeling. I feel as though if I open up, I will shatter into a miliion pieces and I will never be able to glue them back into place.