Too tired to stand up most days...
Tue Apr 27 2021
I am so lucky. I am currently housed (but expected renoviction as soon as this is over), my husband and I have some savings and we are well enough. But we are both in our 50s. I am not working, my husband is not working. The days fold in on each other, we have both developed weird sleep issues. My eyesight is worsening. My will to do anything has evaporated. When this is over, I don't see a happy future. We have to start again. Find work, make work, freelance? I am so exhausted from worry, about those more vulnerable than us, about how we will survive the coming years of underfunded everything. The inequity was always there, but at the beginning of the pandemic is seemed as if it would finally get addressed. Instead it is worse and growing every day. It is easy to feel hopeless and with no meaningful investment in mental health supports, I fear we will have an epidemic of people too exhausted and heartsick to move on. I feel the trauma of the past year in my body and I wonder what it is doing to my longevity?