We are all tired
Mon Apr 26 2021
Personally, as a Paramedic working on the road right now, the internal tensions created by the juxtaposition of my world right now is tiring. I enter the war zone for 12 hrs at a time and put on my game face to do my job for my patients and my coworkers. Unlike soldiers in the war zone though, I come home after my shift to my family and bring my awareness back to “normal” life. Part of me wishes I could just be in the suck and stay there till this is over rather than having to flip flop back and forth. I recognize the value of my time away from work to re-energize but as time gets closer to go back to work, nothing is able to give me energy.
With everyone exhausted and I wanting this to be over, more and more I see patients and families on edge and when they call for our services. I see the desperation in people’s eyes when we tell them they cannot come with their loved one to the hospital, or when we discuss the reassignment or resources to gather COIVD patients from the GTA to bring them here for ICU treatment. I’m beyond feeling frustration when people ask “so what do you believe for this COVID thing because I don’t know anyone who got it” or when I see protests over masking. I would love to tell them to volunteer at the front doors of the emergency department to see this first hand, but I cannot, and frankly it wouldn’t make a difference anyways. Self-centredness, not the kind that stops you from sharing your candy but the kind that stops you from being able to put yourself in the shoes of another person, abounds right now. Each of our internal worlds has become so contracted over the past years that we cannot even fathom that our personal rights end where they begin to infringe on the health and safety of another person.
However, I think everyone in the world can agree on one thing right now; We are all so tired. If you agree with the measures being taken or disagree, if you support masking or not, if you want to close the boarders or see the value of keeping them open, if you are able to work from home or must go into your workplace, if you’re struggling with parenting/teaching or are feeling confident, if you enjoy the solitude of lockdown or are desperately alone right now, or however this pandemic has impacted you, we can all agree that this is exhausting and we want it to be over.